A low point

Well, it happened. I was let go from a position for the first time. I am no longer working with the public defender in Washington County. Though most of you who read this know what happened, here's a re-cap: A few weeks ago, I was "talked to" concerning a document where I spelled the prosecutor's name wrong. Ok, fine, while the whole reason that I spelled his name wrong was because I couldn't read his hand-writing, I'll chalk that one up to an embarrassing moment, but learn to proof-read more and ask questions-even silly ones like "what does this say because I can't read your writing?" So, yesterday, less than two weeks after that incident, I met the PD at the courthouse. After speaking to one of the prosecutors for a short time, he pulled me out of the courtroom and into a conference room. He showed me four documents that I had been working on the last time I was in his office, and he pointed out some mistakes. These mistakes consisted of a comma missing in the caption, another one consisted of a spacing mistake in the caption. The other two documents had the same mistake-I was supposed to put the address after the salutation, as in, To Ms. X, XXXX ABC Street, ABC Town...etc. I had done these types of documents in the past, and never had I put the address in after the salutation. But, this time he decided he wanted it in there. I also saved the documents on the computer the wrong way. Ops. (That I do feel bad about.) And that's it. I'm not hiding anything, missing anything or forgetting anything. Those were the reasons he gave me for letting me go. He said,"at this point in your carreer, I should not be making those mistakes." Hm, excuse me, but I know attorneys who have been doing this a lot longer than you have and made worse errors. I've read court opinions with worse errors than what I did. Apparently, though, he is a perfectionist, and rather than teaching me what I was doing wrong, or allowing me any chance for mistakes, he let me go. I understand that he is a solo practitioner and doesn't have a lot of time to teach people, but if you're going to hire a student, you need to expect that they will make mistakes. I feel bad for the next student that he hires who is bound to make mistakes, maybe even mistakes bigger than those I did. He will end up firing him or her as well, and I feel bad for that student. The career services at my school always tells us not to take jobs with solo attorneys because it isn't a good learning environment. I should have kept that in mind because they are very right.

This feels like a line right out of Alanis Morisette's song "Ironic." I was beginning to think over the weekend that I no longer wanted to work with him. Living up to his perfect standards was getting to be too much stress, and I wondered how I would deal with that when school was back in session. I also began to dislike him as a person; he was beginning to live up to the stereotypical lawyer personality, and that's something I did not want to work with. Unfortunately, he beat me to the punch and came to the conclusion that we shouldn't work together before I could get there. Even a day later, I realize this is the right decision, as much as it hurts to have my work and my credibility criticized like that. I'm already happier that I don't have to deal with this stress for the rest of the summer. However, it is still completely and utterly humiliating.

Which leaves me in a bit of a conundrum for my fall semester. I am enrolled in a Misdemeanor Clinic for the fall, which I had planned to do with this attorney. (Although, I'm not sure the professor was going to give me permission for this as it doesn't quite meet the course guidelines.) Even though I realize that working with this particular attorney wasn't the right opportunity for me, I'm turned off by the whole idea of working with misdemeanors, and to be honest, the whole criminal field. However, I shouldn't let one attorney ruin everything. The professor for the Clinic will find or assign me to an attorney who will know that this is a learning experience, and be willing to teach me rather than let me go for making mistakes. However, there are many other clinics that I am interested in that I could begin with without a bad taste in my mouth. So, I put my name on the waitlist for those, and we'll see what happens in the next 6 weeks or so.

But I will for sure NOT be making those mistakes again.

This and That

Through my friend Vanessa's blog, I recently found, and quite enjoy, Craig's List "Rants and Raves. (This is probably not new to most people, but I am a little slow when it comes to new and cool things on the Web. My brother is much cooler in this regard.) Anyway, it is certainly an eventful way to spend an hour or so. In the past hour, I have read about men in the Twin Cities who are canceling their memberships to the gym I belong to, LifeTime Fitness, because other men are checking out their packages in the shower. I laugh at this; how insecure do you have to be to cancel your own gym membership because you're afraid that some guy is checking you out? Honestly, if a woman was checking me out, I'd be a little flattered! Why not just turn away, finish your shower and get dressed? Men are so homophobic....

I also read an entry that was highly personal, one she should have been told to a lawyer, a child-care protection worker, or someone of that sort. The stuff that people will write on the Internet...and, yes, I see the irony in this!

In any case, I hope everyone had a nice 4th. I spent the two days before the 4th with Melissa in Door County. It was fun showing her around my childhood summer home, and relaxing. My dad was on my case the whole weekend, but he always is. ("Crystal, don't eat that." "Crystal, you need to lose weight." "Crystal, go to the gym.") My dad is a bit of a health nut, and very much on my case since law school started and I gained a few lbs. They are slowly coming off (and by slowly, I mean slooooowwwwly), but I'm working on it. At least I can shrug off my dad's comments because I know what a horrible relationship he has with food. Always has, always will.

I then spent the 4th here in the Cities, with Nick and his friends of the family. It was alright. To be honest, I was tired from the long drive the day before, and quite crabby. I was especially annoyed at certain members of his family telling me where my wedding should be and how it should be conducted. I don't give a crap that they have a problem with the fact that I'm having a winter wedding. And I FOR SURE will not be offering to buy certain members of Nick's family winter coats because of my wedding date. You can be DAMNED if you think I'm going to shell out $10,000 for a wedding, and then offer to buy someone else a fucking winter coat because they won't come to the wedding otherwise. I'm livid just thinking about it! Must change the subject before my blood pressure gets too high...

I am quite excited for the Harry Potter fever that will soon descend upon the world. I'm an avid Harry Potter fan, and the 5th movie comes out on Wednesday. I'm looking forward to seeing it. The 5th book has a lot of action in it, it really propels the Harry's story forward, and should be a great one to see in film. (I can't wait to see what they do with Dolores Umbridge!) But, I'm most excited for the 7th, and final, book in the series, which arrives here in the States on June 21st. I've come to terms that Harry and Voldemort will die. Through the various Harry Potter sites that I have been reading (yes, I'm a bit of a nerd), I've come to terms with Harry's impending death. I also read quite a few posts about J.K. Rowling's obsession with the Italian Renaissance, which, apparently, is what Harry Potter is based on. Reading through some of these postings makes a lot of sense. The spells, the names of potions have all come from old Italian, as have character's names. The "good vs evil" comes from the oldest story of that sort, Prince's Machiavelli. (Please see mugglenet.com and Harry Potter sites for these references.) In any case, the 7th book should be a wonderful conclusion, but I will be sad to see the story of Harry go away.

Ah, the highlights of my summer...Craig's List and Harry Potter. I'm such a nerd.

I'm back...

The guilt has started to overcome me; I know I should have written sooner, but, honestly my life is less than interesting. Summer is well under way, in fact, half my summer is gone and we're down to the last half. I've been exceptionally busy all summer. If I'm not putting in my hours at Thomson, I'm in court with Sam or in his office doing paper-work. The work with Sam is going pretty well; I learned a lot in a short period of time. There was a small hiccup (well, perhaps more than small as it ruined my entire weekend), but I'm over it now, and constantly improving with the work I do there. I am a student certified attorney now, which means that I can do everything that an attorney can, but I can't get in trouble for screwing up like "real" attorneys can. Ha. Which means I'll be taking over the brunt of the work with Sam after the 4th, doing the plea agreements with the prosecutor and presenting them to the client and the judge. Should be fun, hopefully I'm good at that. Thomson is same ol, same ol; nothing new to report there.

So when I'm not working at my various jobs, I'm either at a wedding or attending some sort of family function. Both Nick's close friend, Collin, and his cousin Tammy got married in the past three weeks. Collin's wedding was a large affair and very beautiful. They make an amazing looking couple-both tall and blonde. Tammy's wedding was intimate and cute, however, she wore the same dress that I have had picked out for a number of weeks! I was saddened when I saw that, but, I'm going to go ahead with that dress, anyway. No one (except Tammy) will remember the dress, and it's so beautiful on me that I can't pass it up. I'll look at a couple more stores, but I think I found the dress that I want, forgetting the fact that Tammy wore it!

My parents were in town this past weekend, and my mom stayed with me during this past week. The weekend before was Father's Day Weekend, and, so of course we were with Nick's father. We have seen Nick's family quite a bit this summer, due to some events going on in with his family. (Nothing I feel comfortable posting on this blog. But, I'll email it to you. Ha.)

So, you can see why I've neglected this site for awhile, I've just been so busy! July and August look a tad bit calmer...one wedding in July, and I have to take the MPRE in August. (That's the ethics test that lawyers have to take before they take the Bar. Yes, I said ethics and lawyers in the same sentence...) This weekend I will be showing my best friend Melissa around Door County. We'll be back on Tuesday, though, to spend the 4th of July here in the Cities. This is my first vacation all summer, which is a little scary to think about. Summers used to be all about vacation, and now it's all about work and getting stuff done that I haven't had time for during the academic year. (Like reading books.) I should really take some more time off, as next summer will be all about studying for the Bar. But, with a new Mac to pay for, I must work. Yes, yes, I got a Mac. I received a large bonus at work for referring Nick, and being the large corporation that Thomson is, the reward their employees nicely for referring people to their company. So, with that, and some help from my brother, I got a new Mac. I love it. It's so user friendly, and fun to play with. There's so much to do with a Mac that you can't do with a Windows machine. And, for someone who loves to take pictures as much as I do, the photo options are great. I'll never go back to a Windows based machine, again!

I honestly don't have much more to say. I'll try and keep this updated a bit more regularly, but, honestly, reading through this entry bores me to tears, I can't imagine anyone else wanting to read it.

Religion

Sorry for the delay in writing. I've been meaning to write for awhile, but I'm surprisingly busy. I had a good Memorial Day weekend. Nick and I threw a party, mostly my friends attended. (I felt a little bad about that, but Nick gets along with everyone and everyone likes him.) My friend Niki and I got totally drunk off pitchers and pitchers of Sex on the Beach. Apparently, I got very squeaky, but I don't remember this. I remember laughing a lot. I need to drink with Niki more often, it was some of the funniest shit I (barely) remember. It was so nice to not think about school, and kick it (yes, I reverted back to the 80s) with friends and good drinks. However, Niki brought a friend with her who I seemed to offend with every comment that came out of my mouth. This friend, we will call her S, is getting her masters or whatever in Christianity. Apparently, she doesn't want to be a pastor, but a missionary. Ok, whatever. With two other girls there who are getting married in the next year or less, the conversation obviously turned to wedding plans. Someone asked me what my ceremony was going to be like. I said that it would be short, sweet and to the point because I'm an atheist and Nick isn't religious. The look on S's face was one of utter shock and disbelief. She didn't say anything, but she was strained the rest of the evening. That wasn't long, as she left shortly after this comment, claiming she was tired. (It was frickin 9 o'clock.) I said a couple other comments that offended her, and I don't really feel bad about it. Not everyone needs to believe what she believes, and she should learn to accept that others think differently.

I haven't always been an atheist. I was raised Jewish, but I haven't been a practicing Jew since I was in high school. In college, I questioned the existence of God and whether or not there was one. It wasn't until law school started that I really started to believe that there wasn't a God. I just have a hard time believing that there is a "higher power" guiding us and protecting us. Where the hell is this God when someone is being raped and robbed? Where's the higher power when a small child is dying from starvation? What is the point in half the world not having enough water to drink? So they can get to some "higher level?" I don't believe that there is one. I believe that death is like going to sleep for a very long time. What the hell is the point for all the suffering in the world? What really turns me off from religion is fundamentalism. Not just Islamic fundamentalism, which seems to be the all the rage to hate right now, but Catholic/Christianity fundamentalism. It's total hypocrisy. Killing each other because God said so? What sense does that make? There is no God to tell us to kill, or love, another person. Judging homosexuals and people in support of abortions because God said somewhere, some place that it's wrong? Give me a break. If there is a God, he/she/it certainly doesn't believe in judging others. I think that's the biggest reason why I hate religion; it's so fake. And I dislike anyone who judges me for thinking that.

Rosie v. Elisabeth

I'm sure by now everyone has seen "the feud" between Elisabeth Hasselbeck and Rosie O'Donnell on The View. (If not, go to abc.com or youtube.com and view it. It'll be the best 10 minutes of your day.) Anyway, I'm usually not one to comment on Hollywood news, but this "feud" was great. First of all, Joy Behar commences with an excellent list of what's wrong with the current President. She gives about 11 facts of what this President has done wrong, even though she could add about 100 more to that list. Elisabeth gets on her ultra-conservative, moral high-horse and stands up for the President. It's utterly pathetic to see her do this, and I suppose she has to stand behind him as her and her un-deserving football player of a husband probably contributed a few Ks to his campaign. Then, when Rosie and Joy attack her beliefs about the administration, she gets personal. (Well, to be fair, Rosie started the personal business, but Elisabeth was quick to jump on the band wagon.) She tells Rosie that she should be an adult and stand up for what she said regarding the troops. (Background: Apparently, Rosie's statement about US troops in Iraq was misconstrued and the media spun it to say that Rosie thinks that US troops are terrorists. If you listen to the clip where this came from, any intelligent person can tell that this was not what Rosie was insinuating.) Rosie retorted back that she has, but Elisabeth should have stood up for her in the media. Elisabeth never did. Now, I'm sorry, but I like Rosie. Yes, she's loud, opinionated, and perhaps a tad childish regarding her fight with Donald Trump, but she's also damn funny, well-spoken, and intelligent. She supports some great causes and I like her. If Elisabeth is really her friend (which I find hard to believe), she should have stood up for Rosie. Instead, she took the "high road" and didn't get involved. That's crap. If someone says something bad about my friend, you can bet your butt I'm standing up for them. Second of all, Elisabeth is such ultra-conservative idiot that I have a hard time respecting her opinions and beliefs. She's so out in right field, one just has to shake their head in utter disbelief. The President was justified into going Iraq? Whatever. There should NOT be a timetable for Iraq withdraw because it will give our enemies a chance to attack us again? Oh, yeah, and my favorite, *Iraq* was the one who attacked us? Come on, Elisabeth, get your head out of the sand and wake-up to current politics. She then ends with the comment that if you don't like what's going on in politics today, there is a chance to change in 2008. Well, dearie, it's only May of 2007. What is our President going to do in the next year and a half? I'm scared to even think about it. Congress can't stop him as they don't have enough votes to over-ride the President's veto, and for political reasons, they won't leave the President's side. (A la Minnesota governor, Tim Pawlenty.)

I wish I had more time to watch The View. What have I been missing all these months??

The American Education System, Volume 1

Below is an excellent reasoning of why I dislike the education system. What the alternative is, I don't know, but this explains why I dislike those "Star Grad" reports on the local news.

"What makes for the stress [in the education system] is meritocracy. Meritocratic systems are democratic since, in theory, everyone gets a place at the starting line, and efficient since resources are not wasted on the unqualified, but they are huge engines of anxiety. The more purely meritocratic the system-the more open, the more efficient, the fairer-the more anxiety it produces, because there is no haven from competition. Your mother can't come over and help you out-that would be cheating! You're on your own. Everything you do in a meritocratic society is some kind of test, and there is never a final exam. There is only another test. People seem to pick up on this earlier and earlier in their lives, and at some point it starts to get in their way of being educated. You can't learn when you're afraid of being wrong."
Louis Menand, The New Yorker, May 21, 2007

Perhaps his last statement is a little off-base, but otherwise, I think he described to a T what is wrong with the American education system, and why so many people today are very smart, but know nothing about anything. They only work for that test. It also explains why so many students today have anxiety disorders, and/or being treated with anti-psychotic drugs. (See Thursday, May 17, 2007 NY Times cover page.)

Lets keep in mind that this is only my opinion, but I welcome any discourse.

Sunny California

Back from Cali. I had a nice time, and it was nice seeing my brother. He definitely kept me entertained, as you will see from the pictures below. First of all, the basics: I flew into San Francisco last Wednesday night, where my brother picked me up. We drove about an hour south to Santa Cruz, where my brother lives. Unfortunately, I failed to take a picture of downtown Santa Cruz. I wish I would have. Santa Cruz is an old hippy town where students and 'Nam vets live (and people who got into the CA real estate market long before it skyrocketed). The smell of marijuana permeates the town. I asked my brother if the cops crack down on the smokers, and he informed me that the city council of Santa Cruz passed an ordinance that said prosecution of marijuana smoking will be "on the bottom of the priority list." In fact, on Saturday, as I walked around one last time, I saw two old 'Nam vets smoking up and a cop walked right past them, not doing a thing. There are also "Impeach Bush" signs in the windows of the homes and apartments around downtown Santa Cruz and also in San Fran. Santa Cruz is also very laid back, as I suspect much of northern California is. Many residents woke up and walked to get a cup of coffee in exactly what they wore to bed. I could have (but didn't) wear my purple yoga pants with my bright green sweatshirt when I ran to the local bagel store for my morning nourishment. Of course, chain restaurants and establishments are highly frowned upon, but that didn't stop the one Starbucks from coming into downtown Santa Cruz. (This is California, of course.) I have to admit that I did go there once, but I also experienced some of the best coffee I have ever had at a local coffee joint.

Anyway, on to the pictures! On Thursday, my brother and I went to San Fran. We spent a couple hours in the S.F. Museum of Modern Art, which I didn't care for much. They were featuring an exhibit of Picasso. I know I'm supposed to like him, but I don't care for the Cubism style. After some shopping (where I bought an Italian cashmere sweater for $30!), we went to Coit Tower. Coit Tower is on Telegraph Hill, a very high point in San Fran. Lillie Hitchcock Coit bequeathed a third of her estate to the city of San Fran (oh, boy, I sound like my Wills, Estates and Trust prof) and the city built that tower on the hill. Here's a view from it:

Can you see Lombard Street in the center-right? That's the most crooked street in the country, where it's like a zig-zag. And here's my brother on Telegraph Hill:

That's the San Francisco Bay in the background.

The next day, my brother had a meeting at the Navy Post Grad School in Monterey, where he teaches. Monterey is about an hour south of where my brother lives, and he drives his new Prius down there about twice a week. (Only October-March, though.) While he was at his meeting, I walked around downtown. It was very quiet; Monterey is a small town. It has a pretty wharf, though, which is where I took these pictures. Can you see the seals on the rocks?

As you can tell, it was quite foggy that day. The only problem with living on the California coast is that the fog rolls in about 5-6am and doesn't burn off till 2-3pm. Of course, when the fog rolls in, it becomes very cool. I was quite cold this day, and I bought a fleece jacket for $10 at a local souvenir shop. (I think they were so cheap because they didn't think anyone would buy them in the coming summer months.)

After the meeting, we drove down scenic Highway 1. The prettiest part of this highway is between Monterey and Big Sur, a very small town in the center of California. Car commercials are often shot here, where the highway is built into the mountains and the ocean is exactly 1,000 feet below you. If you lose control of the car, you'll end up as lunch meat for the ocean life. Here's a picture:

Can you see the road that's carved into hill about halfway up? Because of my insane fear of heights, we didn't pull over anywhere to take many pictures. We waited until we got to a safer spot where I took this picture.

From this place, we hiked to a pretty waterfall. You can't get very close to it because it's located off a cliff with dozens of poison oak plants around. But, it's very pretty, n'est pas?

We had lunch at a restaurant that overlooks the ocean. $60 for two people for lunch and you expect great food. It wasn't great, so you definitely paid for the ability to eat while looking at the ocean.

We drove for an hour or so and stopped at some local wineries. I haven't been wine tasting since I was in France, and I really enjoyed trying the different wines. We went to about four different wineries and I bought a bottle of Pinot Noir. It's so good. (Nick and I had it with steaks for dinner.)

The next day, my good friend Carlie drove the 3 hours from Fresno, CA to visit with me. She took me to Capitole (pronounced CAP-e-tol-A), a beach resort town about 10 miles from Santa Cruz. We spent 4 hours walking around, talking and catching up. Here's Carlie, as beautiful as ever, on a hill overlooking the town.

The hill also holds some of the most beautiful houses I have ever seen, with spectacular views. The houses probably go for upwards of a million dollars just because of the view that it has. Saturday was a spectacular day as there wasn't much fog and it burned off by 10am, leaving an absolutely perfect day.

I woke up the next morning at 5am and flew back to Minnesota. I love California, and I'm glad I will have a place to visit my brother for the foreseeable future, but it is good to be home.